Janus Head

Walker, there is no pathway.
You make the pathway while you walk.

Reality is a sound, you have to tune into it not just keep yelling.


Jerzy Kosinski, in an interview, said that for him there was only one game in town: "How close can I get to another person, without anybody getting hurt?" Not a bad formulation of the goal of psychotherapy. As early as 1965, R. D. Laing wrote, "Psychotherapy must remain an obstinate attempt of two people to arrive at a re-covery of the wholeness of being human through the relationship between them." The patient is a person-to-be-accepted, and not an object-to-be-changed.

Hungarian Gulyas Soup. I went into a reverie. My eyes were level with the table, and my grandmother was busy cooking. I could clearly see cut up green peppers, chunked tomatoes, diced carrots, and slowly, I felt I could remembre how she made gulyas soup.

The Erotic: Exploring Critical Issues

Edited by Koen De Temmerman

Selected papers from the inaugural inter-disciplinary global conference

held in Budapest, 13-15 May 2004 

Speculation is in and of itself erotic. Paul Goodman wrote that when he had first read in Freud, “Dreams are the Royal Road to the unconscious,” he instantly found himself with an erection. Freud, by the way, noted that in the realm of the erotic, one had trouble getting to the truth, for people lied when it came to discussing sexual matters. 

Francis Bacon: The Logic of Sensation

Review by Andrew Feldmár

A major topic is the fight against the cliché in all its manifestations, psychic or physical. Bacon uses “free marks,” explosive accidents to destroy any nascent cliché, illustration or narration.



These reviews were published in a column called "Bookworm," appearing in issues of the Mental Patients' Association of Vancouver, entitled: In A Nutshell. 

{More reviews will be added by and by...}

Articles written for In A Nutshell, the Vancouver Mental Patiensts' Newsletter

I decided to call my column Minute Particulars because it will always remind me of the following quote from William Blake: "He who would do good to another, must do it in Minute Particulars. General Good is the plea of the scoundrel, hypocrite, and flatterer". Blake wrote this almost 200 years ago. 



Andrew Feldmár

When, from infancy to late teens, we grow up under pressure, there is hardly any time for our own unique, true self to unfold; we are forced to react and become false, either by nforming or by rebelling. We are creatures of habit, pressure becomes familiar, so later, when we have left home and we could actually find an environment that would let us be, allow us to be authentic and legitimate, we seek out environments (such as the university, the church, the army, or the police, just to mention a few) that demand conformity, environments that continue to pressure us according to impersonal blueprints of received notions of goodness.

Interview by Asher Penn 
Portrait + Paintings by Meredith Feldmar

Full Disclosure: Andrew Feldmar is my therapist. I began seeing him in 2006 and have continued to sporadically seek his advice at the most challenging moments. While I've always wanted to interview him, some very late googling yielded surprising results: Feldmar was one of the first to research the use of psychedelics for therapeutic use in the 60's, apprenticed and worked with celebrated psychiatrist RD Laing, and is currently an outspoken advocate for the use of MDMA for PTSD. Continuing Laing's "do no harm" dogma Feldmar's wholly unique approach takes therapy out of Freudian analysis's past towards coming to terms with the present moment.

From 1992 to the present.

More than a dozen books with my name on them saw the light of day in Hungary, not as a result of my furious writing activity, but because people were interested in recording what I had said in lectures, conversations, etc. Who knows? Some of them may get translated into English one day. . .

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© 2015 by Andrew Feldmár

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